Alright, first, a little more information about me, to help explain why I hate this product. And I mean hate it, if I didn’t loose chapstick so fucking much I would throw this out.
I work at a college, in an ice cream/bake shop. It is incredibly dry in there, the A.C. runs ALL YEAR. I live in a town that is 30 minutes from the Canadian boarder. We are so far north that we aren’t even included in the “Northern New York” category. We are called “The North Country.” Yeah, what does that tell you? No mans land, between Northern New York and Canada… it is frigid, full of snow and the air sucks all the moisture out of peoples faces. That’s how it snows so much, the air robs us of all our bodies moisture, pulls it up into the clouds and it comes back down to us in the form of snow.
I also have a condition called: Dermatillomania. What this means is that I have a problem with picking my skin. I have two focused areas: around my nails(including cuticles sometimes) and my lips. I also pop pimples/blackheads obsessively some times. I obsessively pick at my lip when it gets VERY dry and rough, I can’t help it, I want my lips to be smooth. Same with my fingers. It is considered a form of OCD and an anxiety disorder. I know what my triggers are. So it is very important for me to have moisturizing products. When I eat well and exercise I do not pick at my fingers, when I eat poorly I pick and pick. My skin is very dry and I do my best to constantly apply lotion and lip balm to resist the urge to pick at my rough/dry skin. It’s gross, I know, but it’s important to talk about.
That being said, I need to make sure my lips are tip-top shape. I need great balms and lots of moisture to protect me from myself basically. Embarrassing.
So one day, I’m on my way to work and my lips are DESTROYED. So much I have a sore in the middle of my bottom lip, it aches and I need help. I stop into the college store and head for the Burt’s Bees. I use their cuticle cream for my fingers and it works like a charm. Their lip balms have the same effect and I am desperate, I need something ASAP so I can control myself. I’m so excited when I see this product: Ultra Moisturizing 4 hour moisturization. I buy it and head straight to work, slapping it on as I walk in the door. Let me tell you a little about this product…
*It smells AWFUL and leaves a funny feeling/taste in my mouth.
*It’s pushing that whole “4 hour” thing, it’s more like 4 minutes.
*It does not absorb, it just sits on top of my lips like coconut oil.
*It does not even BEGIN to moisturize, it’s so thin it can barely stay on my lips without evaporating.
*I get the urge to apply more, and more, and more… trying to trick myself into thinking that it works.
*It costs MORE than the effective product!
As I type this, I’ve applied it 3 times… THREE times, because I’m desperate, but I feel like it’s just drying my lips out MORE.
BURT! You’ve let me down!